My Wife is My Hero

(Written 8/19/15 and scheduled for later.)

There’s a song that was composed by Danny Weissner for an IGN podcast called “The World is Saved”. It resonates with me because, as fellow gamers will recognize, there’s a huge satisfaction that comes from finishing a great video game.

The same can be said for books. I finished reading All Souls Trilogy by Deborah Harkness the night I began writing this.

I remember in an undergraduate writing class being confronted with surprise when my protagonist was a strong woman. Why would an average white male (or somebody with the appearance as such) have a strong woman as his protagonist? What could he possibly know about women that would allow him to actually pull of writing her in such a way that he would do her justice?

That reason is that my wife is my hero.

Like books, movies, and games, there are few people past or present that leave a lasting impression on my thought processes and patterns. It isn’t an issue of ‘what would Jesus do’ but an issue of what would make ‘my dad’ or ‘my wife’ proud?

You see, my Redflare has every right to hate the world. She has the emotional and physical scars to prove it.

She has been betrayed and abandoned by those who’s roles in a person’s life should only be filled with love and acceptance. She has trust issues, naturally, that come from that.

When she received word that one of her biggest and earliest betrayers died on 8/16/15 she took it upon herself to be the strength she always has been for her sisters and share the news with each of them in turn.

With compassion, she then shed tears for this person who she had every right to hate.

I tweeted not long ago, with a callback to two posts I wrote referencing Brave and Hunger Games about how awesome my wife is.

She thanked me for reminding people of them and then teased me that she’d appreciate something new.

My response was, as is a long standing joke about my Gemini nature, I would let her know if my opinions changed.

So why write this now?

My opinion certainly hasn’t changed, but my insight has.

Redflare and I are many things to each other. We started as best friends.

One of the reasons I think I’ve managed to get inside her armor is thanks to this childhood link. There are no secrets. We’ve known each other almost all our lives. We’ve certainly known each other longer than we haven’t known each other. She’s also born my last name longer than any other last name at this point.

Eventually boyfriend/girlfriend (though if you ask her, there was certainly something ‘wrong with [me]’ for a while before the official date when we became a middle school couple). 😉

(That date was 12/7/1995 for those curious. We still celebrate that day.)

Then lovers, spouse to the other, support to the other… Parents.

I could go on and on.

Needless to say, I believe what we have is special and rare.

So why don’t I often say these things out loud? It’s not that the feelings haven’t changed, it’s that they’re unfathomable except in these rare moments of clarity and inspiration to put them into words.

It’s one of my weaknesses and strengths as a writer. I write from my heart. From the inspiration within.

When I read something like All Souls and wonder at how it was accomplished. The pieces fit so perfectly together between each book, as though she had an outline and plan from start to finish.

That is why, my dear wonderful wife, I rarely post these kinds of things. They’re there though, waiting for the words to strike me as they’ve done now.

Another thing that makes my wife my hero is that she has learned from the past mistakes of others and made sure that she wouldn’t repeat them. In so doing she has become my children’s hero alongside mine.

So thank you, my Redflare, for having the strength to stand tall when it is needed, a shoulder to share my burdens, and the humility to lean on me when you need to. Together we shall face anything and everything.

∞ Together. ∞

I love you.



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